Dependence and Community…

In the United States we strive for independence, we long and work to be self-dependent. Historians refer to the “fierce independence” of those who pushed our boundaries west toward California and we carry their genes. We sculpt our lives to minimize our dependence on others. For half-a decade we lived in a sub-division of homes outside of Cincinnati, a wonderful community. 120+ homes parceled in a cul-de-sac community, each of us on a quarter-to-1/3-acre parcel and each of us owning our own lawn mower and using it an hour or less a week to maintain our lawns at our convenience. And we would think it odd to do it differently.

Things are different in Nigeria. Because resources are few they have developed a culture of dependence. I was working at 3 am one morning because NEPA (electricity) had come on and I needed power to print some handouts for class, I was startled by a gentle know on the door. The night watchman stopped by to plug in his phone to charge it for the next day. People in Nigeria need one another. A resource one has is often graciously offered and borrowed or used. Another 3 am work session, a young man stopped in carrying a small black plastic bag. Following a pleasant greeting he quietly slipped across the room to the ironing table and set out pressing his clothes. Only when NEPA is on can one use an iron, heating elements (irons, water heaters, etc.) draw too much power for most small generators. The guest house had a steady stream of visitors who would plug in this or that whenever we had power. Life here is mutually dependent.

And mutual dependence breeds community. As I write the guest house manager is outside washing the car of one of the guests. The night guard, who stopped in to plug in and charge up his phone using the electricity in the Guest House grabbed a rag and helped… all the while these two friends chattered back and forth about life… and so community grows.

One day Mike and I were heading out of JETS to meet up with friends across town for ministry. As we neared the gate to hail a taxi a Honda with 3 people pulled up and asked if we needed a ride. The driver was John and interim seminary chaplain. He had seen us on a bike earlier in the week and was heading out, so he offered us the ride. We had a wonderful chat, I learned about John and his family and he mine as we drove to meet our friends. Mutual dependence grew to the first stage of a relationship. By the way, the two others in the car were students from to whom he had offered a ride shortly before he stopped for us.

I am not ready to trade in the independence and conveniences I enjoy living in the US, but our independence does come at a price.